we are finally together again! i love him so much! its amazing how we have hurt each other so much and yet still want to be with each other. we both had lil flingy things this break, but in the end we both know where our hearts belong...he is my best friend and boyfriend again!the thought of losing him doesn't even faze me anymore bc i know i won't. he is all i want. and all i ever wanted!no one else could replace either of us for one another!  i'm so happy!

who am i kidding...i think i fell for you...

...not inlove...but enough to know that i don't even know you, i don't miss you, i don't care about your past...

just fell enough to know that somehow you managed to make me feel like i have a little school girl crush

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

The beginning of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image - otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

then again... i'm 18, and there are other fish in the sea...and i love to fish! (i really do too!)

so its 3:45 and i can't sleep...and for some odd reason, this is the best i have felt in awhile...it is probably bc i know me...and i wouldn't be happier being anyone else.yay for being me!

so kimmy and i are going iceskating this wednesday...asked some ppl to come and they said either i'll try, yes, maybe...but oh well if they don't, bc if its just me and kimmy, it will be the best day ever! but knowing her she'll probably bring a "boyfriend" with her...i'd bring someone but i don't want to bring anyone as a "datey" kinda guy...that wuld be wierd. so i'll just go, and bring the first person i see that day!

matthew 7-1 !!!

so "new guy" didn't work out...which is cool, i guess...its funny how you can tell the one that is inlove with you what you want, find another guy that has it, and it not work out...

the pic of me and matthew one here makes me laugh still...i want that again...not with him persay, but i want that feeling again...most girls know what feeling i am talking about...the feeling knowing that you can be yourself, everythings coming out wrong and he understands, wearing makeup just for him and then him telling you're beautiful when you aren't wearing any...i miss all this...it sucks but at the same time it is good.i've never been without a guy, and thats probably why i feel all empty right now...i got asked out 5 times this week.all great amazing guys! but not into them...why do i fall for the guys i know will hurt me the most when there are 5 guys willing to do everything for me..."he who makes you cry doesn't deserve your tears, and he who deserves your tears won't make you cry"  <~~~~so true....

everything you told me tonight about you sounded so familiar...i read through some journals i had (i know i am wierd) and i pretty much read everything you said. i was like you once. wanting everything and taking advantage of things and ppl i barely knew...it wasn't until someone told me that i needed to stop doing that bc one day i might lose the most amazing person i will ever meet.i knew what he meant, when he walked away.i am not trying to say i am "that girl" for you in anyway, just reminding you that people have feelings, and when you abuse them, you may lose the most amazing apportunities God has granted you. it's good that we talked about all this, bc now i know what you are all abuot...i was once just like you. i wouldn't want that to be done to me. despite everything we both know and understand (or lack of knowing for that matter on my end) i still think you are amazing. idk what it is abuot you.maybe it's the way you make me laugh, make me forget about him for awhile,make me want to be all goofy and not care, make me want to smile a genuine smile,the way i can talk to you and know you aren't judging me, the way you sing, the way you told me i fit in your arms, the way you look at me, the way you knew all the right answers, the way you kissed me,the way i told you i like you... the way i am probably infatuated with the same bs lines and looks i used to use...but then again, maybe you genuinly meant them and you are a genuine guy with some imperfections that make you perfect.

maybe i am the one with the imperfections...i'm so used to getting everything i want when i want it...i'm so busy looking at the perfectness of ppl i miss the flaws and get screwed over...i smile to much apparently(w/e that means)...i don't cry enough(yeah that confused me being told that right after) i try to hard...i fall for all the wrong guys in hopes one might prove me wrong...everything i say comes out wrong...i am so busy trying to make other ppl happy i forget about myself....i speak my mind to much...i'm a drama queen...i put myself out there knowing i'll get shot down <~~~ anyone who has ever told me what is wrong with me, SCREW YOU !!!

What is this? missy is back!?!? only to let you all know that i i am still alive...tonight was the work party, and it was awesome!

so new infatuation everyone!!!! what no matthew!?!?! i know!!! (gosh i am a nerd) well this new kid is pretty awesome...and makes me smile (which a guy hasn't really done lately)...makes me laugh...makes me feel good about myself...this is bad!!! i know not all guys are the same, but i am still in the "every guy sucks" mode...

for all of you "you broke up with matt again?/got back together again?" ppl: pretty sure we are actually done...we tried to put in more gas and it stalled...which hurts but at the same time, is comepletly good! bc now i can actually do something for myself.so maybe what i can do for myself might be the new guy...but then again, knowing me i will tell him everything abuot my past, and pretty much shoot myself in the foot. causing major pain and never walking normal on dates, and pretty much ruining any dating life i might have.well not like i have ever been on a date....so not much to lose...<~~~ two hottest asians ever!

<~~ best friends right here!

just felt like these pictures were needed

love you all!

Matthew 7-1

i wrote this entry back in the day... ... ...     I have a boy who is perfect in every way          He *showers* me with kisses xoxo                      Has to be holding  me someway                                               whenever we are together              Races me to chickfila to see who is going to pay                buys me random @}flowers for all the reasons   tells me i am beautiful everyday till i })i({believe})i({ it               lets me know he loves me even when we are fighting always says sorry even when we both know its my fault, just so we can make up  brings me little puzzles from                                          work just because he knows i will                                                                            think they are cute                               wears my pants to make me laugh when i                            am having a bad day     comes over at 7 am just to have breakfast before school   i miss this guy...what ever happened to mr. wonderful? anyone want to be the new "that guy"